Poerim / Purim 2011 "But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something with your hair?"
"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something with your hair?"
I don't remember who sent me all these nice sayings.........but it is [nearly] Purim, so I may m I x up things a bit..............
Subject: What if these people had Jewish mothers?
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written."
MICHEL ANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off of the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
WHAT ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER ASKED: "But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something with your hair?"
WHAT MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER ASKED: "That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years!"
Subject: Ten reasons for celebrating Purim.
1. Making noise in shul is a mitzvah.
2. Levity is not reserved for the Levites.
3. If you're having a bad hair day, you can always wear a mask & no one will know who you are.
4. Purim is easier to spell than Khanuka, Chanukah, Chanuka, Hanuka --the Hebrew name for the Festival of Lights.
5. You don't have to kosher your home and change all the pots and dishes.
6. You don't have to build a sukkah and eat outside.
7. You get to drink wine & you don't have to stand for Kiddush.
8. Mordechai - 1; Haman - 0.
9. You won't get hit in the eye by a lulav.
10. You can't eat hamentaschen on Yom Kippur.
11. Mordechai - 1 ; Haman - 0!!!!